[Kayne] - It's a Beautiful Day Outside

[swiftyuki]

The birds are singing. Flowers are blooming. And on days like these, kids like Kayne... Are probably just sharpening weapons about ready to impale the next degenerate mugger they come across. Warborn and an arguable hero, it was a wonderfully sunny day! Beams of light would peek through the tree leaves overhead, spotting anyone below with dots of light within the soft shade.

It wasn't a particularly dense forest, more just a stray path off the main road that paralleled with the river. A soft giggle sounded and something brilliant flew past Kayne's peripherals. A look around and the forest was relatively quiet. As he continued, now wary, he'd hear another giggle. Another look around and there was something that stood out in the forest, a glow that seemed to be noticeable in broad daylight. A fairy popped into his view. [smear:#98c0d6]"Oh mister! Mister please, can you come with me! We've been looking all over for you!"[/smear:#b892e2:3], she'd say. The fairy was small, body in a single tone and washed out by a luminous effect that seemed to take any of her defining features away.

[Sparky]

[Refs]

    The past few weeks had been rough for Kayne. Taken on a job, gotten it done, you know, the usual stuff. But everything just felt more... straining. For the time being, Kayne left the village to get a break from the hustle and bustle of civilization, only to find he now needed a break from... well, pretty much everything. Maybe he was just growing tired of himself. Wait, scratch that, he was definitely growing tired of himself, who was he kidding?

    Kid's been tired of himself since the day he left the womb. 

    But yes, Kayne was indeed sharpening his weapons. When the guy had nothing else to do, it was either this or contemplate what the hell his life was coming too, and we all know what sort of shit-show that would be. No, here he's doing the sensible thing, instead of filling his mind with endless internal screaming. Well, at least that's what he was doing before something caught his attention. 

    Ebony sword already in hand, Kayne readied himself. After Bahamut, the boy had learned he needed to make sure he was on guard, always. And strange giggling in the woods was most certainly a reason to be on guard. Though, when the source turned out to be some sort of annoying little fairy, to say the warrior was disappointed was almost... too tame a description. Fairies were, by and large, more of a nuisance than anything. They were either going to trick you, or they were going to take you on some sort of soul defining journey. The best part- if you could call it that- was that you never had any idea which one it'd be. Or they'd bring you on a soul defining journey only to punk you in the end just for added "fuck you" effect.

    And hell, when they're coming up to you saying "We've been looking for you!" It doesn't exactly scream good intentions. Honestly, everything in Kayne's body told him to just swat the damn thing away. Chase it off. Ignore it. But, before the young man lifted his hand... he stopped. Honestly. Everything had been so... dry. The boy lacked any sort of purpose, and just continuing the same rhythm seemed to be wearing on him, both mentally and physically. So, honestly, trap or not... Kayne sighed. Shoulder's sunk, eyes closed... and he stood up. This is probably a bad idea.

    But, it's nothing I can handle. And maybe making a mistake on purpose for once would shake things up a bit. The young warrior sheathed his weapons and pocketed the supplies. This was the last chance he had to back out before he threw himself into a shit show, but against his better judgement, he straightened himself up a bit and motioned to the fairy. "Lead the way I guess." 

[swiftyuki]

The fairy seemed delighted, a genuinely happy smile on its face and eyes sparkling. [smear:#98c0d6]"This way! This way!"[/smear:#b892e2:3] She said excitedly, fluttering over to the start of his grand journey! Whatever it was, she seemed happy about him agreeing to do whatever it is that was needed.

As they made their way down, more fairies seemed to peek out from trees, hushed excitement hissing through the leaves. Some would come out of the branches, flittering around to look at this newcomer. [smear:#98c0d6]"He's the one?"[/smear:#b892e2:0] [smear:#98c0d6]"He has to be, right?"[/smear:#b892e2:1] Kayne was lead into a clearing, with what looked like a stage made of giant flowers.

[smear:#98c0d6]"Madam Beatrice! He's here! This is the boy we're looking for right?"[/smear:#b892e2:3] The fairy called out. A roar was the response and then the being came out. It was... A rather large bear. A bear with lipstick on and those glasses with like a winged frame that was turquoise and had beads connecting the leg thingies that grandmothers would wear so they don't lose their spectacles that would rest farther down the nose than they should. She even wore these giant pearl earrings and had a, well I wouldn't say little, but a polka dotted mini skirt.

[Sparky]

[Refs]

    So, all in all, this was... interesting. The fairies seemed... excited about the young warrior to say the least. The big question was... why? It wasn't as though Kayne was particularly special. Sure, a good fighter, but one could certainly find better... if they looked long enough. Was that a bit of narcissism, Kayne? The boy thought to himself with a rare bit of amusement.

    Which really primed him for what came next.
    
    To say that Kayne was flabbergasted would be a complete and utter understatement. In fact, the boy just did not know how to react in general, and just sat there with a slack jaw and a quirked brow. There was so much in Kayne's mind right now about this whole appearance that he didn't know how to respond. Should he laugh? Cry? Feel offended? Was this a prank or a trick? Was this... serious? Should the boy feel amused towards this or should he walk away and leave? Gods, the young warrior could feel his brain frying like an egg. He felt so tempted to just throw his hands up in defeat, shout "Nope" and fuck off into the sunset. 

    And yet another part of the boy was just immensely curious as to what the fuck this all was. Like, you can't just drop a bombshell like this and not expect someone to take the bait. Kayne shut his eyes, clapped his hands together in front of his face, and took in a long, deep inhale. When he opened them again, he placed his hands on his hips and spoke.
   
    "Alright, I'll bite; What the fuck?" Consider the bait taken. If this was all some sort of elaborate bag of mischief and he was being punked by these fairies, Kayne didn't even know if he cared anymore? Really, with a hook like "Madam Beatrice," It's really hard for anyone to be all too upset. This scene alone was worth the price of admission. 

    Only thing that would make it better would be if the bear spoke in that whole cartoonishly stereotypical fat rich lady voice. You know the one. That tone that was a mix of proper and weirdly floaty. Judging from the roar though, this was going to be just a weird mix of grunts, growls, and roars. Which, given the getup, was still pretty worth it. 

    Gods, if Kayne wasn't eternally dead inside, this might have made him crack up and start howling in laughter. Unfortunately, that heart is pretty much shriveled up and useless so oh well, we're all just going to have to settle with dumbfounded expressions of "What the fuck is this? What the fuck is that? Where the fuck even am I? Is this even fucking reality? The fuck?" Maybe make a sing-a-long out of it. Play it behind Kayne as his theme song. Probably could do well to express his general state of mind on a daily basis. 

    Where were we again?

    Oh, right, "Madam Beatrice."

    Kayne cleared his throat and looked towards the fairy that led him here, motioning to the bear. "Sooo, just- just hold on one moment." He paused and lifted a finger to collect himself again. "Alright, I'm good, now can someone explain to me why I'm here and why that bear is dressed up like that?"

[swiftyuki]

Madam Beatrice, yes the beautiful granny bear with a heart of honey-gold, came up to inspect the boy the fairies brought over. She's an old girl, eyesight isn't that great. And well, she IS a bear so her walk was a little heavy. She stopped just in front of him and leaned over. A good look into her eyes and her pupils were a milky white, but that's what cataracts do. Tragic. She was close enough that you could feel a puff of air when she was exhaling, but she also smelled heavily of lavender. She leaned back and gave a grunt and a slight nod. This was the boy! She turned back around and wandered back behind the stage.

The fairy flittered around in a quick spiral happily with a little [smear:#98c0d6]"Eeee!"[/smear:#b892e2:3] coming out of those tiny high pitched pipes. The guide fairy took notice of Kayne's question and she flewfrom his side to right in front of him. [smear:#98c0d6]"Madam Beatrice has been looking for a male model for her spring collection! Unfortunately, any men we've found left running or tried to harm poor Madam Beatrice!"[/smear:#b892e2:3], she said, putting her hands on her cheeks as if the thought still terrified her. [smear:#98c0d6]"You're the only one who hasn't tried such a thing, so you must be the one we're looking for!"[/smear:#b892e2:3] Because that's how that works, right?

[Sparky]

[Refs]

    Kayne seemed immensely unintimidated by the bear getting so close to him. Now, confused, that was a completely different story. Honestly, Kayne was just flat out wondering if he was on drugs. Did the fairies fucking drug him? Those little bastards! Wait, no, nope... unfortunately this was all reality. No drugs involved. God, he actually kinda wished it was drugs at this point. Sure, it'd be annoying, but far easier to deal with than whatever was happening. 

    And apparently what was happening, according to his guide, was a fashion show. 

    "Ah, I see..." Kayne nodded, blankly staring at the stage where Madam Beatrice had vanished. You could honestly tell when the words finally registered in Kayne's head, as the boy's head snapped towards the guide, his expression a mix of confused and offended. "Wait what?"

    Wow, you really could see his soul dying right then and there. Incredible! Who knew there was even anything left inside there to die like that! It's almost a miracle that they could kill whatever tiny bit of will to live the warrior had so quickly! The boy took a step back and lifted his hands, he didn't sign up for no fashion show. Well, uh, maybe he did? He... probably should have asked what he was signing up for before he said the words "Lead the way." Fuck. Um. Wait. 

    "Listen, I don't do fashion shows. I'm not a model, so you'd be better off finding someone else. Preferably not with a body covered in scars and no aversion to wearing... whatever the fuck it is you think I'm gonna wear." Oh god, it better not be dresses. Kayne might actually kill himself right then and there if it were dresses. The boy didn't even know if all the money in the world could convince him to relinquish what little pride the warrior had left to take part in something like that. God, at least it wasn't the Summer Collection. Everyone knew summer collections always involved shit like bathing suits and Kayne most certainly was not going to fucking do that. 

   The young man needed to find an out, and fast. Killing them was all out of the question as they were just innocent little shit stains, and not evil shit stains. And Kayne had a moral code to not kill any more innocent people. It was kinda why he took bounties and killed bandits and shit. They, you know, actually deserved to be fucking offed in the most violent ways possible. But some innocent little goofy ass bear and her posse of fucktard fairies didn't actually deserve to be smited with the wrath of god.

    Or did they?

    No they didn't, what's he saying. They were all as innocent as could be and as much as Kayne tried to play it off like he was an awful, terrible, vile, piece of refuse... the young bounty hunter wasn't a villain. But maybe... no one would ever know, the guy could say the fairies all tricked him, dressed up the bear as a trap! God what's even going on with my life anymore? Kayne thought bitterly. He shook himself out of those thoughts and returned his attention to the fairy guide. 

    "So, seeing as I'm not fit for this job, can I just... leave... or something? I don't wish to be rude, but I feel as though you picked the wrong individual for the job." How to do this as polite as possible? Kayne certainly was trying here. The guy didn't want to just be like "You all suck, fuck you, yaw-YEET!" and triple backflip away like a god. Had to at least be somewhat civil about turning them down. 

[swiftyuki]

[smear:#98c0d6]"But- but you agreed to help us!"[/smear:#b892e2:3], the fairy said with a little bit of a moan. A few others seemed down about it now that Kayne suddenly changed his mind. Surely this was something they looked forward to. You know, a sweet granny bear that did her best to do something to keep a part of the forest entertained. The guide fairy sighed and fluttered to a tree, sitting on one of the fungal stools that jutted out of its side. [smear:#98c0d6]"Are you sure you don't want to do this?"[/smear:#b892e2:3], she asked, pointed ears dropped downwards and a more than obvious sad expression on her face. [smear:#98c0d6]"I mean, with what few people agreed to help, even severely scarred bodies don't really matter to us. Seeing Madam Beatrice being happy is what we're really here for because she's sweeter than honey and does a lot for us."[/smear:#b892e2:3] There it was, is the guilt setting in? You cold, heartless fiend.

[Sparky]

[Refs]

    Kayne narrowed his eyes at the fairy. "If you're trying to guilt trip me, it's not going to work." But are you really sure about that Kayne? Are you? One hundred percent? Actually, he is and he isn't. The warrior folded his arms over his chest and let out a long, deep exhale. 

    "I will help you out on one condition; No dresses or lingerie, and I keep my arms covered. Is that fair?" The boy didn't wanna wear girl's clothes. Is that so much to ask? Although, thinking about it now, even just allowing this much would probably make his father mock him relentlessly. Well... more than just mock. Kayne tried not to think about it too much. If he did, he was going to wind up just walking away and leaving everyone heart broken. 

    Trauma be like that sometimes. 

    If they agreed to his terms, then Kayne would... sort of... idle about and just wait to see what happens. Not really talking much to anyone, but also trying not to be too weird or stare at anyone and wind up being rude. So he just kinda looked at other things. Trees, the ground. The sky. Hey, that blade of grass over there looks pretty neat. A lot neater than all the staring eyes of the bear-clan fairies he was surrounded by. Gods this was not the way the young man expected his day to go in the slightest. The worst part is that he just kinda agreed to it. It was impulsive and stupid, and he pretty much got himself into this mess of his own volition- accident or not. 

    This is why you ask for details ahead of time children. This was pretty much the best situation for everyone, though. Otherwise the fairies were shit out of luck again. And after they searched for so long and got denied by so many people. They finally found a beacon of hope in a brave young man to come help them out, one that wasn't bothered by madam beara- er- Beatrice, only to chase him away at the last second. What a shame, what a shame. But it's a good thing that didn't happen, right Glory?

    Right?

[swiftyuki]

[smear:#98c0d6]"Oh, no of course! Madame Beatrice doesn't do lingerie."[/smear:#b892e2:3] Dresses though, she did those but I don't think even Kayne would fit fairy size XXXXXXXXXS you know? The arms covered bit, the fairy didn't seem to mind, she just shrugged and beckoned for Kayne to follow. Honestly, I thought convincing him would take more effort but deep down inside Kayne is just a sweet and fluffy jet-puffed marshmallow that just so happens to know how to break your kneecaps if he heard you say that which is why I'm so glad absolutely not a single soul can hear this narrative what-so-ever. Isn't dat wite mai wittle fwiend? ...Ahem.

The fairy would wait for Kayne at what looked like a curtain of large leaves. It wasn't rushed, the leaves had a stitching to it that showed a lot of effort to make sure it would hide something from the crowd. Madame Beatrice could be spotted in a corner working on some finishing touches, slotting flowers through the middle of a floral jacket to conceal some pebble buttons. You know, you gotta hand it to the granny bear, for plant clothes this was some lavish stuff. I mean, that kind of stitching isn't easy to do with plants or as a partially-mostly blind bear with shaky claw paws. I mean, it's hard enough threading a needle. There were other clothes too, a beautiful array of what looked like rather high class suits made of plants. It was all formal wear, nothing seemed to lack arm coverage so that's pretty sweet, eh?

[Sparky]

[Refs]

    Kayne's eye twitched. It felt as though someone said something about him that would make the guy break their kneecaps if they said it to his face. Almost like someone called him a marshmallow and talked towards him in mushy baby speak. But that would be silly, who would ever do something that stupid unless they were actively trying to make Kayne kill them? No one was that stupid, right? 

    Whatever the case, the young man idled about alongside the guide, sighing reluctantly. The kid genuinely hated this right now, but he couldn't get out of it now. So, the only thing Kayne could really do was just grit his teeth and deal with it. Worst part about this whole situation? The warrior just realized he was doing this for free. Which means he's going through all this suffering... without getting paid. Oh son of a bitch. I should have at least tried to get a bit of gold from these shenanigans. Kayne thought, bitterly resisting the urge to slap his own face with the force and fury of a thousand angry gremlins. 

    Focus, Kayne. It was all he could do to keep himself reassured right now.
    
    "So..." The gaze shifted, directing at the guide this time. "...how did this all come to be? This... bear that can create clothing, and the large number of fairies flocking around her? Forgive me for saying this, but this whole situation is just... completely random and unusual. I'm certain many of the individuals you tried to gather before must have felt the same way."

    Kayne had never heard of any animal that could sew or craft clothing or anything like this. Unless there was a spell suddenly cast upon it, or if they were originally a person to begin with. He'd heard of animal shifters, people who could shift into animal forms, or even animals that suddenly were given a spike in magic and gained the ability to transform into human forms themselves. Could this Madam Beatrice be one of those, just sticking to a bear form because that's what she was comfortable with? It could explain a lot of things, like why she was so fascinated with clothing and why she wore human items herself. At the same time though, Kayne felt like that after so many failed attempts, she would  at least try using a human form to ease the tension. 

    Was there really such a thing as random bears just suddenly learning to sew?

    Was he dreaming? Actually, no. His dreams were a lot worse than this, there was no way this wasn't real. Oh, but wait, it could be an illusion! If it's an illusion I hope whoever's casting it kills me soon. The young warrior thought. I'd welcome that kind of mercy. Oh gods, what if it is an illusion? If I change into these "clothes" would they even be real? Or would they just be making me strip naked? There was a genuine flush of fear at that idea. If this was the type of illusion where he was still moving around, he'd be... completely fucked. Maybe they were making the boy strip naked so that they could kill him easier, strip Kayne of all his valuables. Or maybe the Fairies were doing it so they could steal all his valuables and leave him buck-ass-naked in the middle of the forest. Really, the only good outcome of this illusion theory was that he was knocked out, flat on his ass back where he started while the caster picked his pockets. Least he could replace what was stolen then. 
   
    Still have his pants on, too. 

    Please don't be an illusion to make him strip naked.

[swiftyuki]

[smear:#98c0d6]"Oh, well, in the Fae's territory, a bunch of I guess what you'd call 'unusual' stuff happens here all the time. Fungi that alter your size to the world, creatures doing things that humans or other creatures like them would do. The trees are also able to communicate more openly. It's not commonly observed since most fairies hide away from other major cities, so we understand it might seem weird."[/smear:#b892e2:3], she seemed pretty confident her answer was fact. Maybe she was on drugs. Maybe this was just a real big acid trip. But Kayne didn't do drugs right? He didn't do shrooms, did he? Get it, because fairy rings are mushrooms in a ring formation? Haha, I'm fungi.

[smear:#98c0d6]"Ms. B took making clothes as a hobby, trying to challenge herself with making top tier clothes for smaller beings such as yours truly."[/smear:#b892e2:3], the faerie said, gesturing to herself. She settled down on a small sticker branch poking out the side of a tree, wings flickering every now and then and legs swinging in the air. Seriously, how could a cute face like that be anything dangerous?

[Sparky]

[Refs]

    There were literally hundreds of ways that little face could secretly be evil. But you know what, fine. Let's  give the little creature the benefit of the doubt. This was all on the up n' up. Sure, this was incredibly weird and super unusual and totally not suspicious at all and Kayne was not gonna be robbed of his belongings in any way. 

    The warrior folded his arms over his chest, waiting impatiently for everything to be finished up. He just wanted all of this done and over with as soon as possible. Mental note for the future, Kayne- don't fall for guilt trips anymore. The young man sighed. Oh. Also. Avoid the Fae Wilds from now on. It's not worth it. 

    Kayne's gaze fell back down onto the fairy again. It shifted between "Ms. B's" Work area, and where she was settled. Finally, with a huff, the boy shifted and placed his hands on his hips. When he spoke, he made sure his tone remained level, not wanting to let too much impatience drip in. "So... how long will this whole process be again? I'd... prefer not spending my whole day here. No offense to you or Madam Beatrice, I'd just like to get this whole... dress-up thing done as quickly as I can." 

[swiftyuki]

The faerie shrugged,[smear:#98c0d6]"Art takes time."[/smear:#b892e2:3] Madame Beatrice was skilled enough to make clothes, now she was just making sure that every stitch was secure enough for the boy so it didn't fall apart.

After another check, the bear made a nod and a soft little grunt to herself. She stepped out from behind the leaf curtain, letting out a soft little roar, which was more or less an announcement that she was done or invitation for Kayne to look at her work more officially now. It seemed to be a large array of clothing, from suits to sweaters to well... there was even a set of bark armour carved with a special set of runes inlined with what seemed to be a glowing green effect.

The fairy flitted in with Kayne, whenever Kayne did that. She seemed to have the biggest grin on her face, fingers laced as her hands were clasped on front of her body. [smear:#98c0d6]"Oooh! This is so exciting!"
[/smear:#b892e2:3]

[Sparky]

[Refs]

    Time's up, it seemed. After giving the fairy a small nod, a sigh escaped Kayne's lips and he stood up. How the fuck does a Bear make all this shit? The young warrior thought to himself. There was so much too? Kayne's lips parted slightly while his left brow cocked upwards, forming a bewildered expression. If anyone could read minds, all they would hear off the guy was an endless 'Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh??' Continuing on and on. When the fairy piped up, the boy's eyes darted over towards her while he tried to find the words to reply. "Exciting... right..." 
    
    Kayne cleared his throat and took a few more steps inside. The clothing was hardly his style, and he didn't even know where to begin. It was a fashion show, so was he just going to be shunted into all of them? Or was it just a handful. Maybe the boy could get away with just one. If whatever being puttering this bullshit decided to be merciful for once, that is. 

    Wandering around a bit, the young man tried to act like he knew what he was doing and that he totally wasn't stalling for time as much as humanly possible. Stall for time? Him. Of course not. Look at him, he's... touching the fabric to see how... good... quality... fabricy... thing it was. And these stitches! They certainly are stitches! Stitching things and stuff together and all. Probably super skillful. Oh and man these colors, they certainly look colorful. 

    Kayne had no fucking clue what he was doing.

    Well, seeing as suits are abysmal, and the armor was tacky as all hell... Kayne took one of the sweaters. The boy gently rubbed one of the sleeves against a patch of bare skin, given both hands were completely covered. Yeah, the sweater was his choice. And totally not because of how soft it was. Just because it wasn't as lame as everything else was. Yeah, totally. Fuck. 

    As long as he wasn't going to suddenly be shunted into every single clothing option in all of existence, the young warrior held up his choice of a sweater towards the bear and fairy. "Uh... is there a changing room or something?" Gods knew he wasn't stripping down in front of them. Animal or no animal, that fucking Bearista or whatever her name was had complete sentience. That alone was mildly disconcerting. And that fairy had some fuckin' weaselly ass eyes. The eyes of a mischievous fiend. Can't trust anyone with eyes like that. 
    

[swiftyuki]

[smear:#98c0d6]"Oh! Um.. Kind of? We have that shrubbery over there. It's dense so no one can really peak or anything!"[/smear:#b892e2:3] The faerie said, gesturing over to some bushes peeking into the clearing more than others. She flew over to make sure no one was there and gave Kayne the thumbs up. Interesting choice that Kayne decided to wear a mossy sweater off the bat, but winter was coming near so the faerie made it a pass that he was getting started on that cold air fashion.

She fluttered away and went to marvel at the other articles of clothing the bear seemingly made, striking up a conversation with the bear over the stitching and asking if she could teacher her how to do such beautiful but complicated stuff sometime.

Kayne had every option to leaf, hehehe leaf, leave, get it? Ultimately he'd probably just feel massive guilt for ditching and letting down a sweet old granny bear that put her blood, sweat, and tears into the work and a bunch of faeries.