|
|
Post by Sparky on Mar 31, 2020 13:45:50 GMT -8
  [Refs]
Wow she actually fell for it. YOINK!!! Luke grinned as he held up the wand... only to be interrupted by someone scolding him and the little girl. A huff escaped as he reluctantly cast the wand aside, only to immediately be kicked in the gut. Oh, ow, oh how painful. What an absolute tragedy, how could Luke ever continue living after being kicked by a literal child. Oh, surely his defeat was nigh. The young man could certainly never recover! Oh woe is him, woe is him!
Yeah no.
Luke Looked down at the foot in his stomach, barely having moved an inch. Looking down at the foot, then back at the girl, he huffed. Seeing as there was no way to reasonably eke out of this, and pretending to go down would so obviously be in violation of the rules, Luke committed himself to giving this child a full course YMCAss whooping.
Starting with the cha-cha slide. And by cha-cha slide, he means the cha-cha swat. Cha-cha slug. Cha-cha-you know what he means. As in he's swatting this little girl away. Giving her the Ski-bi dibby dib yo da dub BOP right on her fucking head. Of course, it wasn't actually hard, it was just a slight bonk as he did the shuffle into a wallop. But he at least tried to do it enough to bump her out.
If anyone had any hope of him knowing more than the cha-cha slide, then they were certainly sure to be disappointed. Unless the YMCA counted. Did the YMCA count? It better count. You know what fuck you, the YMCA totally counts.
It counts.
Anyways, total legitimacy of the YMCA aside, Luke really just wanted to end this fight as quickly and cleanly as possible. As much as he was going to bop this kid on the noggin', he still wasn't ok with fighting a gods damned child. Especially infront of an entire crowd. It just wasn't fair. Like come on! How is he supposed to beat the ever loving shit out of someone when they can barely spell "MISSISSIPPI" Without stumbling over their own tongue, huh? Fucking Plebeians.
Luke bet whoever came up with this entire thing couldn't even spell "MISSISSIPPI" Without stumbling over their own tongue. They were the ones who deserved the YMCAss whooping here, not this poor toddler currently getting served the bop of a life time by a guy who could barely perform the cha-cha slide without stumbling over himself. |
|
|
|
Post by swiftyuki on Apr 5, 2020 21:49:48 GMT -8
What in the nine circles was a Miss-I-Ppippi? Missi-Pipipipi???? Missi- you know what, I don't care anymore. Imaginary words are too hard to spell and dumb. Who comes up with these things? Well I guess we underestimated this guy. His aggressive shimmying just sent this girl.. well somewhere. See, Luke's bippity boppity booping just.. seemingly vaporized this girl. She was hit once and her aura turned red before she burst into a lavender light that broke into small shimmers. Now, don't worry, she's not dead. Actually, she's over there, being upset that she lost the game and throwing a tantrum like a lot of small kids do. Children.Well Luke. You somehow squeaked by but I hope you figured out some better feel good moves! His next opponent seemed to be full of rhythm and the funky flow. Look at 'em go. This person, head shaved on the side with three thin stripes going from temple to the back of their head and short hair messily swept to the side and slightly upwards came in. They were tanned with pink hair. You heard me. Pink. Like a sweet bubblegum pink, not anything you could bleach your eyes with pink. Of their clothes, they seemed to wear baggy pants, no shirt to reveal those sweet abs and pecs, a harness, and some red and black fingerless gloves with silver reflector strips on them. A tooth stuck out and a closer look showed this person was a faunus. A dog faunus. A hippity hoppity get off my goddamn property Doberman faunus. That's right, this was his territory and Luke was just walking right onto his front lawn. No little girls were harmed in the making of this dance fight. |
|
|
|
Post by Sparky on Apr 5, 2020 22:25:04 GMT -8
[Refs]
Luke froze and looked around wildly as the girl disappeared. Holy shit. He killed her! He killed a kid with a single bippity bop! What kind of freakishly powerful monster is he? Wait... with this power... he could destroy so much. He could wreck cities. He could... he could rule the-! Oh, wait, there she is. Ah, so it's just magicky bullshit. Ok. Fair enough. Shelve the bloodlust for now, Luke. You'll get it some other time.
Suddenly Luke's punk radar lit up, all across the board warning lights flashed red as siren's blared. A massive amount of pure, unfiltered funk was on a collision course, heading right towards him! Such a massive amount of unrestricted groove would be fatal for a metalhead like himself! It was his kryptonite, so to speak. Luke spun around to face the groovy danger, shimmying aggressively as a defensive measure. But it was too late, the funk was upon him and it was... it was... so... so...
Awful.
A gloved finger pointed at the faunus. "You need to put that outfit back where it came from, I saw a trashcan over there." Ah yes, Luke's other defensive measure: Aggressive smack-talk. There really wasn't any reason to hold back either. If they let some guy walk in dressed like that- really, just how fancy could this really be meant to be? It's probably just some group of fetishists or something. Look at that hair! So tacky. Whoever chose that design was seriously lacking real artistic merit, let alone braincells. "First they send a child at me, now I have to fight a Brain-damaged Disco Dog. Tonight is weird."
Welp, at least Luke had no qualms about fighting this one over a kid. Luke shimmied at the man, trying to figure out the best way to... really... do this. Maybe he could grab the kid and throw her at him? You know, revenge? He was yeeted, so now he yeeteth? Nah, that would be too obvious. And rude. He was better than that! Ok maybe he wasn't! But he can at least pretend, ok? You know what, he knows exactly what to do. Luke is going to hit this man with the good ol Cha-cha... er... Cha-cha... fuck it, Cha-cha uppercut. Fuck your naming conventions, we do whatever we want here in this household. |
|
|
|
Post by swiftyuki on Apr 5, 2020 23:12:40 GMT -8
The dog faunus looked at Luke and his aggressive shimmying. This was what he was up against? This right here was in round 2? Seriously. [smear:#98c0d6]"Look at this dude. All bark and no bite."[/smear:#b892e2:3] Seriously Luke, you really can't shimmy your way out of this one. Seemed like a smol ballerina was too easy so we kicked up up a few notches. Exactly 3 notches. Good luck, have fun.
The dog faunus was reared and ready to rumble. We really let the dogs out on this one. Well, we only had one dog so... we let the dog out. His stance shifted so he was slightly sideways, a bounce to a beat bringing his body forward and back slightly like a kick-boxer. Haha, get it? Boxer? Like, the breed of dog. Yeah you get it. I sure hope you do. This dude was a beautiful mutt of many talents. Okay but for real though he's a purebred doberman.
He cocked his head to the side quickly to let Luke know he was ready to rumble. He was going to let Luke get the first move here. Hopefully he can cha-cha real smooth. Luke took no hesitation in starting. The doberman faunus ducked back and he seemed to fall down, shifting his balance to his hands and bringing himself in a spin. First a low sweep and keeping the momentum going on his palms, bringing his legs up and aiming to spin kick Luke in the face.
|
|
|
|
Post by Sparky on Apr 5, 2020 23:31:03 GMT -8
[Refs]
Oh! Hah, he gets it, all bark and no bite. Cus he's a dog. And Luke has a dog theme. Man, that's so funny. Wow, real nice pun there. Woof. It would normally have Luke howling in laughter, even, with just how amazing that delivery was... unfortunately he currently has a foot in his face. Or, well, now his face is currently in the floor. Hello floor, how are you today? Really it happened so fast. Luke was unable to really fight to his best potential having to work against his two left feet, and the poor punk wasn't exactly prepared for that to hit him as well as he did. His silver eyes only had a couple moments to register the fact that his fist whiffed completely, before his masked face was solidly driven into the ground. Luke felt something crack on contact. Oh gods! Did he break a bone? A tooth? His nose? Was his beautifully mediocre face now permanently tarnished for the rest of his life!? Oh... oh no it's just the mask. Just a little bit of a crack. Phew. Close call there. Luke had to give it to him though, that kick really stunned him. In fact, he... honestly had a difficult time getting up. There's no way I can actually pull this off. If it was a fight-fight, I could kick his ass seven times over, but I can barely keep track of my feet. Where even are my feet? My feet! Oh my gods I can't feel my feet! My feet are- oh, nope, just laying on them wrong. There they are. Luke let out a sigh, followed by a grunt as he attempted to get up... When Those awful, awful baggy pants gave him an idea. Luke spun as fast as he could, trying to use the momentum to sweep the dog off his feet. There were breakdancers back in The City, and seeing as breakdancing was still, you know, DANCING, hence the name, it counts! And hey, Luke could just spin a bit, instead of actually 'breakdancing' and just call it breakdancing. Because let's be honest here, between you, me, Luke, and literally everyone else in the room- Luke really can't dance. But- And this was a big but- he was fairly good at bluffing so, y'know, is'a big maybe? Hmm?? Hmmmm?? HMMMMM??? Enough of that.
If the trip worked, Luke would do another rotation, spinning again and this time using the momentum to hopefully drop his legs right down onto the dude's stupid pink head. This puppy needed to get put out in the dog house. Get taken right to pound-town. You dig, dawg?
A single Luke was harmed in the making of this dance fight. |
|
|
|
Post by swiftyuki on Apr 5, 2020 23:53:57 GMT -8
The dog faunus hopped off his palms and back onto his feet. Man he got this kid good. Good enough to break his mask. Well, not all the way. Actually, he couldn't asses how much damage he did other than Luke's aura turning yellow. A couple more hits and this kid was going to be toast. And who would blame him for literally getting kicked so hard he'd make sweet love to the ground faster than YOU could spell mippippissi- Mispisissi- Missi- CONFOUND IT ALL YOU KNOW WHAT I'M REFERENCING. MORTALS AND THEIR MADE UP WORDS.
Luke was fast to act. You know after totally not moving for a few moments. The dog faunus wasn't really expecting this shoddy shimmier to suddenly break out into a spin like he did. Move copier, psh. The faunus' legs were swept out from under him and he tried to catch himself, only to soften the blow enough to just land on the floor on his stomach. He quickly rolled away on his side, getting up and giving what looked like a mix of a grin and a snarl. He wasn't too bad. Not great but not so bad that he was one shot.
The dog Faunus immediately broke back into his rhythm, seemingly counting beats under his breath. He waited for Luke to get back on his feet, unless he suddenly learned to do the Worm. That would be hilarious and incredibly stupid. The dog faunus started to side step to his own beat, growing more and more into it until he danced around Luke and spun on the sole of his foot, kicking straight up to send the boy flying.
|
|
|
|
Post by Sparky on Apr 6, 2020 0:01:08 GMT -8
[Refs]
Hah! Luke got him! Now to pull out the ultimate technique. The perfect power move. The prime picture and presence of a true master! That's right, lady's and gentleman, boys and girls, people of all ages! Luke, this fantastic, amazingly average, delightful dumbass, was going to do it. The move of the gods. The unbeatable dance move that only true masters could pull off. Luke... was doing...
The worm.
For a little while at least. Just to taunt the doberman. As a bit of karmic justice for Luke's hubris however, as soon as he rose up, the half of the wolf mask cracking off dramatically, ready to finish the fight like a true warrior.
Luke was kicked into next week.
The young man felt the impact, and before he could register what happened or even really react, he was engulfed in a bright, white light. Blinded, even. Well, shit, that's all for him folks. It seems that Luke just couldn't hack it in the big leagues. Well... for dancers at least. Who knew that a guy who couldn't dance would lose in a dance competition. I'm shocked, shocked I say! Well not that shocked. At least he can say/spell "MISSISSIPPI." |
|
|
|
Post by swiftyuki on Apr 6, 2020 0:13:57 GMT -8
Listen. It's not a real word and you know it fake human conscious of Luke's inner psyche! Anywho, not real beings in this event ASIDE.
Well. Drat. Luke wasn't supposed to lose. He was supposed to be the winner. The amazing dancer that he always dreamed of! ...This is something he's dreamed about right? If not, oh well. Can't wait to see what girlfriend he gets going out to dance with him and he just...shimmies in his jimmies. No wait, that sounded wrong. Dear gods that sounded very wrong, I take that back!!!
[smear:#98c0d6]"Well. Seems like the jig is up. I don't even know how but it seems my story is another incomplete chapter for my books."[/smear:#b892e2:3], the man Luke met said with a hand over his face. He took the mask off to reveal someone Luke has never met. He was sitting in a chair, overly plush but it seemed real comfy. The room itself was a vast starry space, the rug on the floor a spiral galaxy. [smear:#98c0d6]"I suppose that's all there is too it then. Until next time, please learn how to dance a bit more than two centimeters back and forth."[/smear:#b892e2:3]
Glory was, for lack of a better word, disappointed. Ah well, such is life and onto the next story! The scene before Luke vanished into another blank whiteness. Luke found himself on his bed, in his bedroom without any good galaxy rugs or starfall walls. Starwalls. Nice. Well, not for Luke because he didn't have those. Not as nice. Until next time on Avalon's Got Lesser Talent.
|
|
|
|
Post by Sparky on Apr 6, 2020 0:21:35 GMT -8
[Refs]
Listen, other ethereal being known as Glory- IF THAT IS YOUR REAL NAME- you're the one here who put the guy who can't dance in a dancing competition. You only have yourself to blame, you poor, poor pitiable soul.
And speaking of poor, pitiable souls.
"What? Who-?" Luke was... confused, to say the least. A big room of space and shit, a random weird man, and then... "What- HEY! It's not my fault dancing is lame!"
Alas, his argument would fall on deaf ears as suddenly, and spectacularly, he popped back into his own bedroom, surrounded by the same, simple decorations. Luke blinked and stood there utterly fucking lost. "What?"
He looked around. "What?" He repeated.
"I HAVE SO MANY QUESTIONS!?" He screamed.
Sadly, the only thing he would get was a noise complaint.
|
|
Luna
Apprentice
Posts: 95 
|
Post by Luna on Apr 6, 2020 0:29:09 GMT -8
"What the FUCK are you screaming about?!" Luna asked, yelling just as loud. She had just gotten home not too long ago. Did Luke find some obscure sexy bird man porn or some shit?
|
|
